Hope

A tentative hope

A timid dream

A dreamful prayer

A reticent thought

A rosebud

Will it burst into full bloom?

Will it reveal itself slowly, sweetly, deliberately?

Will it ever really bloom -

Spreading its sweet scent to any and all surrounding?

A sweet longing

A wordless prayer

A crazy dream

A wild hope

Donne

One of my favorite of John Donne's sonnets:

Batter my heart, three-personed God; for you
As yet but knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend;
That I may rise and stand o'erthrow me, and bend
Your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new.
I, like an usurped town, to another due,
Labor to admit You, but O, to no end;
Reason, your victory in me, me should defend,
But is captivated, and proves weak or untrue.
Yet dearly I love you, and would be loved fain,
But am betrothed unto your enemy.
Divorce me, untie or break that knot again;
Take me to you, imprison me, for I,
Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.

Untitled

I've never been to Paris
And I've never been a queen
I've never seen my face
In one of those glamour magazines

But I've heard tales of a Kingdom
A Kingdom truly sublime
Of a Beauty, a Worth untold by men
And I've been told it's mine

A worth not measured by scales
Or by the jewels found therein
No, this Kingdom's worth's intrinsic
It's worth's instilled by Him

So I may never go to Paris
And I'll never be a queen
But I'm an heiress in truth & grace
Of a Kingdom that can't be seen

A poem from high school

O noble knight, draw not nigh unto me.
When near, the Beauty turns Beast.
Come closer, if you dare
To look upon the one you deem so fair;
But blame me not, for I warned you
Love even what you see and you are no fool.

A Promise

A promise has been uttered, written long ago
A Refuge there is and always will be
From the deceits we would be sold.

Love does not blossom overnight
But is forged through deliberate flames;
A bond, an iron pure and bright
To withstand the ensuing storms.

Love is not fickle, does not waiver from its object,
Is not out for what it can get.
Until this lesson be learned,
What havoc is made in an untried heart!

Love is not easy, but love is best;
It is the one thing that means something.

Is my heart capable of love?
I hardly know...

May I bear my refining.
May I emerge with a stouter heart.

The One who hears my heart's deepest longings
And sees my tears
Is Faithful.
He will carry me til the end.
At least of that I can be sure!

Inspiration

The heavens declare the glory of God,
But not many may stop to listen.
The stars and moon call out and croon,
But who looks up to see them glisten?

A son of Adam, by work still plagued,
Toils diligently and long.
Though this work he would not choose,
It grows him strong.

At the end of the day, he goes his way
Seeking starlight and peace.
With upturned face, he is embraced by grace
And finds his soul's release.

New courage is he given,
And strength for another day.
He wakes next morn with focus and desire,
Still dreaming with feet planted firmly aground.

He has not lost hope; no, he has hope to spare
By heaven his sonship is bound.

Peace

It's what we're all looking for, is it not?

We search for it in activities - things that we love to do. We seek it in the eyes of the people we love. Our sight turns inside ourselves and we try to produce it, to root out all of our own flaws, after which the desired peace will surface.

Maybe if we could just look a little deeper, try a little harder, perfect ourselves, then we would find it.

But we've tried all those things and they haven't resulted in the peace we're looking for. The peace they produce is counterfeited and it doesn't last.

Even as Christians, I think we miss the source of peace sometimes - at least, I know I have. I believe if I could just do all the right things, read the right books, make time for the right activities, answer the questions the right way, get through my life with minimal damage, then I would find peace.

But what if we're wrong? What if peace has nothing to do with how much I accomplish for God?

What if it's not about what I do but what's been done for me?

Because of the cross of Jesus, I can find peace. He has caused reconciliation with God to be a possibility for men and women again. God not only promises to "keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast because he trusts in him" (Isaiah 26:3), the Bible also says that Jesus is the Prince of Peace. So, if He's the Prince of Peace, that means I can look to Him to give me the peace I need, right?

But I think I've got to surrender first. Maybe Surrender = Peace. And that's not easy.

How does one give over control of every area of life? How does a Christian yield up expectations, plans, the future, self-awarded rights, so that she can experience the peace that passes all understanding (Philippians 4:7)?

I know that in most cases the Christian life is simpler than we make it. So the answers to these questions must be simpler than I expect. I want peace, and I want it to last, and I want my life to count for the Kingdom of God. So, I'll keep asking my questions and working towards surrender the best I know how. Then I'll let Him teach me what it looks like, how a surrendered heart should act, and hope that I'll better understand how it works as I go.

I know that God is good, that He's in control, that He loves me, and that He wins in the end. So, really, isn't that all that matters?